October 2013

The Swan

Halloween is over. I’ve sampled almost every mini Nestle chocolate bar I dished out, sucked on some Twizzlers, and threw the unwanted packages of Skittles in a Ziploc baggie, to be dropped off at a homeless shelter next week.

It was an uneventful night.

Not enough kids, probably because we’re located at the very end of a dead end street, which is kind of spooky for those little supermen and princesses, who want a quick and easy supply of sugar to fill up their plastic pumpkins and grocery bags.

But I remember really spooky Halloweens. Psycho neighbours dressed up like Frankenstein who made me pee in my pants from fright, and one party at my parents’ home, back in the late 70’s. Aside from people vomiting everywhere, and a swarm of uninvited guests ending up in my parent’s bed and bedroom, there was music blasting from my boom box, people doing the Time Warp in my kitchen, and pseudo playboy bunnies and hippies gathered round the piano singing songs from the Phantom of the Paradise , that musical film from 1974, featuring singer/song writer, Paul Williams who played Swan.

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With Thanksgiving coming up on Monday, I feel my craving for the stuffed beast and pumpkin pie escalating.

I try just about everything to organize a Thanksgiving dinner, but there are no takers. My brother says he “doesn’t do the whole turkey thing”, my sister’s busy entertaining her own brood, and I am childless, with my youngest just having gone off to college in the U.S.

I drop my not-so-subtle hints to friends like” Boy, do I love turkey”, or “Save me a leg if you can” but that doesn’t seem to work.

At Loblaws, I lament to a complete stranger about my empty grocery cart while he hoists his 70-pound turkey on the conveyor belt beside my two apples, quart of milk and single Turkey breast -bone out. I’ve even considered standing at the corner of Yonge and Bloor to hand out leaflets with a request for dinner or at the very least, dinner guests.

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